“I'm not suited to Bolton or Blackburn, I would be more suited to Inter or Real Madrid...”

The immortal words of one Samuel Allardyce

We all like a bit of a chuckle on a Friday afternoon, a bit of light hearted laughter to take us into the weekend, and it would seem that ‘Big’ (TM every media outlet) Sam Allardyce is happy enough to provide us with some end of the working week merriment.
Witness these quotes;

“I'm not suited to Bolton or Blackburn, I would be more suited to Inter or Real Madrid...It wouldn't be a problem to me to go and manage those clubs because I would win the double or the league every time. Give me Manchester United or Chelsea and I would do the same, it wouldn't be a problem. It's not where I'm suited to, it's just where I've been for most of the time.

It's not a problem to take me into the higher reaches of the Champions League or Premier League and [it] would make my job a lot easier in winning it."

I’m not quite sure where to start... I guess on one level, all managers that believe in themselves would like to think they would be able to win things if they were in charge of Real Madrid or Inter Milan, I mean, in a way it stands to reason; ‘if I’m fairly successful getting by spending half a million here or there on Steven N’Zonzi then just imagine what I would do with Cristiano Ronalo, Kaka and a few £100 million to spend’. But then, I’m not sure how in particular Sam Allardyce thinks this sets him apart.

If more unheralded managers (especially English ones) were sometimes given a chance at bigger clubs then we might actually be able to find a manager for the national team that wasn’t Italian or Swedish (or perhaps useless) however I guess the flip side is that one has to earn a chance with a big club.

I know a lot of people (like Big Sam) will argue that the only way to get recognised to take over one of Europe’s giants is to have a fancy coat and an exotic passport, but call me old fashioned, shouldn’t a track record of winning things be the most pressing pre-requisite? Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember Allardyce picking up that many medals thus far.

It’s also a bit of a stretch to suggest that he’d be well suited to Real Madrid, given their fans have already been whistling the esteemed Jose Mourinho for a perceived lack of flair and imagination. Maybe, given the luxuries afforded to him by a squad load of Galactico’s he’d be able to break out of his shell and share a wondrous, free flowing, expansive game on the world. Or he’d probably have Iker Casillas lining up the goal kicks in order to hit the new £25 million signing Kevin Davies to be knocked down for Gonzalo Higuain.

You do have to admire the confidence in his own ability; guaranteed titles every year, not even Sir Alex Ferguson gives you that sort of return. The world’s leading clubs have clearly just been missing out, too blinkered to see what’s right in front of their faces, Sam Allardyce, a European cup winning Machine just ready to explode. Part of you thinks this was all said in jest to wind up a few of us who take these things a bit too serious. Then again, what really worries me is the fact that a large part of me thinks Mr. Allardyce is deadly, deadly serious, and that’s the scariest part.