The ITV man is so bad, that he’s become good again…
I think Andy Townsend is a unique, undervalued, TV and radio pundit. At first glance, that statement couldn’t appear further from the truth. We all know Townsend has limited knowledge outside the Premier League. He doesn’t provide any great tactical insight. His opinions are occasionally biased. In that respect, he’s much like so many other TV experts, providing a similar level of analysis to Alan Shearer or Jamie Redknapp.
Yet scratch beneath the surface, and some of Townsend’s comments and insights are fresh and thought provoking. They provide a whole new perspective on a simple game of football. Townsend doesn’t always mean this directly or intentionally of course, yet I still think he can be positively viewed as some form of British Gabriele Marcotti but with more appeal to the common man of course, inspired by his hardworking playing style.
One of the great things about Townsend is his ability to come up with the unexpected, and often nostalgic, phrase or comment. After all, this is a man who proudly and unashamedly uses the word “goalie” when describing international football.
“I tell you what Clive, I honestly think Joe Hart’s a world class goalie.” I used to think that term was unacceptable after your 12th birthday, but Townsend is bringing it back into fashion. Maybe soon he’ll even be weaving in comments about rush keepers and next goal wins. This ability to link sterilised, modern-day football back to happy childhood memories is a special talent. We should cherish it.
Townsend also has the skill to make complex issues such as national identity between different cultures more simple and accessible. He’s able to bring a difficult debate back to basic terms and ideas that we can all relate to.
A few years back now, before Spain ruled world football, Townsend shrewdly and eruditely picked up on the lack of camaraderie and shared identity in the Spanish squad. Cutting through the intricate relationship between Spanish and Basque players, Townsend was able to get right to the heart of the matter, concisely stating that Basque players not feeling Spanish was “pathetic”. Co-pundit Ruud Gullit stepped in and confused matters, suggesting: “It’s more complicated than that, Andy.” Townsend’s reply cut out all that nonsense: “No, it isn’t.”
It’s not just this type of succinct, jovial analysis of political disorder that Townsend is capable of though. Oh no, there are more strings to this pundit’s bow. While Townsend can simplify tricky issues into snappy sound bites, he can also create interesting debate around more seemingly straightforward actions.
Take England’s friendly against Holland on Wednesday as prime material. After Daniel Sturridge fluffed a six yard tap-in the second half, Townsend focussed on the positives and confidently declared: “The thing is Clive, he’s done absolutely everything right there.”
This swiftly prompted the viewer to stop and think. It would be fair to assume most of us would believe the fundamental thing the young Chelsea man needed to do was put the ball in the net. Would doing “everything right” not have involved scoring a goal? Yet Townsend was able to take this incident to another level of thinking. Is making the ball cross the line really the ultimate? Is there a deeper level of understanding we can achieve where movement and anticipation, skills that are hard to master, are actually worthy of a higher praise? Come to think about, surely anyone can smash a ball into a goal from six yards?
It’s this sort of added value that you just don’t get elsewhere
During the encounter at Wembley, Townsend was also keen to laud Dutch captain Mark Van Bommel. “He is such an important holding player Clive. He’s happy to stay at home”. This prompted yet more interesting deliberation. Where exactly does “home” begin and end on a football pitch? And is the domesticated, homebound player really more admirable?
Presumably in Townsend’s eyes, once you cross the halfway line you enter foreign soil, and danger. But on the other hand, someone more nomadic might view a forward like Arjen Robben as liberated, precisely because of his ability to spend time away from “home”. In Townsend’s world, Robben is no doubt an immigrant traveller, passport always at the ready as he navigates through different territories. But do we all share that viewpoint – maybe some even see the box-to-box midfielder as the pinnacle, someone equally comfortable at home or abroad.
The great thing about Townsend is that his talent is not solely restricted to the football field either. He’s a regular on TalkSport Radio, and sometimes the station swerves away from its primary modus operandi, and enters more mainstream topical debate. Usually this is reserved for the small hours, with research presumably showing that sports fans are in bed at this point. Occasionally though, regular news items are discussed during the day, and Townsend is able to share his wisdom.
One Monday afternoon Townsend and everyone’s favourite nasty, objectionable Scouser, Mike Parry, hosted a phone in on insomnia. A serious issue of course, and one affecting a surprising number of people in this country. One caller stated that even sleeping pills did nothing for him. This is where Townsend stepped in.
“You don’t want to get involved with them mate. Addictive those pills are. You’ll be a drug addict before you know it.
“What you want to do is just pull yourself together and get a decent night’s sleep.”
Tackling drug abuse, solving problems and provoking stimulating debate at every turn. When was the last time you got that on SkySports?
Fantastic piece fella!
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