All your much anticipated news on South-West London's premier football club, including preparations for the prestigious tour to Valencia
In early July, Wandsworth Athletic returned to their old stomping ground on the hallowed Rocks Lane turf, rejoining the league where a fresh-faced team of young football talents first emerged many years ago.
Despite a few more late night specials from Pala Kebab under the belt, and some subsequent extra kilos here and there, Wandsworth surged back into action in a very competitive division. It was a campaign that started with great promise, peaked in the middle but sadly fizzled out a little towards the end.
On a bright summer’s evening, and marshalled by the interim coaching staff of Andrew Michel and Sasan ‘Snoozun’ Molaie, the latter having just awoken from his daily afternoon nap after a tough day of room tidying and playing tennis, Wandsworth kicked off the new season with an exhilarating encounter against Gammon. Playing a strong, physical side, including the presence of a man who can only be described as a grizzled, hostile and clumsy version of Fulham’s Brede Hangeland, Wandsworth gallantly fought back from a three goal reverse, equalising with two minutes left on the clock after a sustained spell of pressure. Tragically, a last second error allowed Gammon to steal the points.
Nonetheless, it was an encouraging start, although any momentum ground to a halt with an extremely poor defeat to an organised and much improved Sham Marino. Morale was low, but Wandsworth hauled themselves off the canvas and won a 13-12 thriller next time out. Joey ‘The Don’ Hancock and Kyle ‘Tourist’ Soulsby showcasing their ability with four goals apiece.
The following week saw the pinnacle of the campaign, as Wandsworth stormed to a memorable 7-6 victory over title favourites Jerry Curl. Hustling out Curl’s Aussie forward and part-time BBC actor, plus their midfield playmaker known only as ‘EasyJet’, Wandsworth produced a display full of control and class. Enjoying possession and keeping the ball magnificently, the former champions expertly beat a very good side, with Ben ‘Romeo Engine Brad Pitt’ Lewis firing home two strikes on the counter attack. Lewis, who had reportedly been suffering some off-field problems with jilted ex-lovers, silenced those who said he lacked composure not just in front of goal, but also in the bedroom.
The theme of enthralling action decided by a single goal continued the following week, as the South-West Londoners defeated antipodean opposition 10-9. On this occasion it was the Platt brothers doing the damage; Junior striking twice, Senior thrice. That was where the season peaked, and if it had ended there Wandsworth would have congratulated themselves on an excellent return to form.
However, there were still four games to go and the team in white unfortunately lost their way. A disappointing defeat against Hollywood 7 was particularly difficult to swallow considering the bizarre behaviour of an effete, long haired rake of a man, known to the watching crowd as ‘Toni & Guy’. Toni shouted obscenities and insults throughout proceedings, yet couldn’t back up his aggressive chat with muscle or any trace of ability on the pitch. It was a sorry sight to behold, made worse by Wandsworth’s inability to silence him with a victory.
A weakened squad was blown away by eventual champions Putney Playboys the following week, and unfortunately the lack of a settled team did have a significant effect as the season drew to a close. Defeat occurred again seven days later, but Wandsworth did record a much needed victory over Sham Marino, with loanee and former star Misha Mantel returning to score four times. This campaign also saw a brief return for Hungarian hardman Istvan Borbely, winner of a championship medal in Wandsworth’s second title victory, and a debut for James ‘Jim’ Jarret who showed impressive skill and commitment. With the squad jam-packed of players, these talented fringe performers may find it difficult to break into the side on a regular basis, but will no doubt take their opportunities when they come.
The season ended with a low-key and slightly disappointing defeat, but the signs for improvement are definitely there. The subsequent campaign has already begun with three points, and with a highly anticipated European tour to Valencia on the horizon, Wandsworth’s management have planned additional training sessions during the forthcoming weeks.
Special mentions for the season just gone should be directed at Ben Lewis and Joe Hancock – the only ever-presents during an often disjointed period, Kyle Soulsby for finishing top scorer and translating his energy and strength into regular goals, plus Alex Platt, Matt Snelling and Zaid ‘Shubba’ Shoubber for demonstrating admirable resolve in defending an often rather exposed Wandsworth goal.
With some high intensity training sessions, a bit more belief and a little dose of luck, Wandsworth should look forward to a successful campaign. Meanwhile, all the players are naturally starting to focus on the prestigious tournament in Valencia taking place in mid-October. Rumours have circulated that Wandsworth number 20 Tim ‘Tank’ Rickard could soon be back in training in time for the momentous tour. The Spanish authorities have been warned…
Games Won: 4
Games Lost: 6
Goals For: 72
Goals Against: 100
Appearances
Matthew Snelling: 9
Ben Lewis: 10
Alex Platt: 9
Zaid Shoubber: 8
Kyle Soulsby: 9
Joe Hancock: 10
James Platt: 7
Misha Mantel: 4
James Jarret: 2
Max Fernie: 2
Istvan Borbely: 1
Goals Scored
Ben Lewis: 4
Alex Platt: 7
Zaid Shoubber: 3
Kyle Soulsby: 18
Joe Hancock: 12
James Platt: 9
Misha Mantel: 10
Max Fernie: 3
Istvan Borbely: 2
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