Heroes' and Villains - edition 2

So who's worse? England or France?

Heroes

Diego Forlan

How long is it before we stop referring to the Uruguay striker as ‘former Manchester United flop Diego Forlan?’ I think he’s done enough now, what with winning Golden Boots (top scorer in Europe) during his time with Villarreal, scoring winning goals in a Europa League final with Atletic Madrid as well as goals in the Champions League and at World Cups to mention him as just ‘Diego Forlan – one of the best strikers in the world’.

Against South Africa he was absolutely superb, dropping into a deeper role just off the front two and looking like he’d played there for years. That’s part of his strength, the fact he takes everything in his stride and the fact that he is hardworking, determined, quick thinking and with nerves of steel if the long wait he had to endure before slotting home the penalty that effectively won the game against the hosts is anything to go by. Before the tournament, in the World Cup predictor I did I had Uruguay getting out of their group and marching all the way to the quarterfinals where they’d meet England (boy does that feel a long time ago...), they may not win the World Cup, adding to their two triumphs in the competition’s early history, but having a punt on Forlan to be top scorer might not be a bad little investment.

Ryan Nelsen

From a man who is paid to score goals, to one who is employed to prevent them. Not as well known on the world stage as Forlan, but like him an underrated talent, the skipper of Blackburn and New Zealand performed heroically yesterday afternoon, marshalling a rag tag bunch of players who have performed at the likes of Worksop Town, AFC Wimbledon, not to mention currently working in a bank to a result against the reigning world champions.

Is this a vintage Italian team? No. Was that a vintage Italian performance? No. However, nor were Italy terrible, and nor did they just sit back and try to nick a goal. They attacked, albeit too slowly and at times with a lack of subtlety and imagination yet they still created far more chances than England did Friday night. To chalk this up solely as Italian failure is to be disrespectful of the effort and endeavour put in by the New Zealand side, which whilst under the cosh for large periods of the game, put in a superbly disciplined performance, with every player covering and responding to the actions of his teammate.

Despite somewhat riding their luck, their continued involvement in the tournament is well deserved and a triumph for just what the power of the collective can achieve against the will of the individual.

Dennis Rommedahl

If I can, I’m going to start this with a caveat; I don’t rate Dennis Rommedahl at all. He had a bright spell in his career at PSV, but then setting the Dutch League alight isn’t always a true indication of one’s actual talents (see Kezman, Alves, Kuyt etc.) and then a downright awful spell at Charlton. Since then he’s somehow managed to keep himself employed at Ajax, despite not really having the ability to do anything but run quite fast (which will usually get you a place on the right wing for England) although never actually with the ball at his feet. However, despite all that, credit where credit is due. On Saturday night he was sensational, regularly tearing the somewhat overrated Spurs full back Benoit Assou-Ekotto a new one.

Twisting and turning all game, his pin point cross gave Nicklas Bendtner the Danish equaliser against Cameroon before he himself, cut inside his hapless full back opponent one more time before dispatching the ball left foot into the Cameroonian net. In a tournament now starting to find its feet as teams decide attack may in fact be better, or just slightly more interesting than packed defence, it was very refreshing to see a winger prepared to take on his fullback and run at him with pace and trickery. I still don’t think he’s a very good player, but then he’s shown that he’s better than Shaun Wright-Phillips at least.

Referee’s

Now this is the definition of a two edged sword, in that I have referee’s straddling both the roll of honour and the hall of shame. You see, over the first few games of the tournament I, like a lot of people was struck by the generally high standard of officiating on show. I know it’s the World Cup, and you expect high standards, but after a season watching the likes of Stuart Attwell and Rob Styles you try not to take anything for granted.

Whilst maybe nothing more than a quirky coincidence, the fact remains that whilst all the ref’s were getting decisions spot on the games were in the large part deathly dull. However now they’ve started to make terrible decisions the excitement levels have been cranked way up. The ridiculous sending’s off of Klose and Kaka, and the staggeringly bad decision to chalk off a perfectly good US goal being the prime examples. Maybe we should be thanking them, maybe we should be castigating them, and to be honest I really can’t quite decide.

Villains

England & France

Just like in the 18th Century it would seem that revolution is in the air. It can’t be too long before the Stade De France is stormed and the Guillotine taken out of cold storage to remove the increasingly deranged head of Raymond Domenech. Just as in 1789, the French are revolting, seeking to overthrow the despised regime that is bringing ruin on the country. Players being sent home stand up rows at open training camps and players going on strike, it’s probably something of an understatement to say that it’s not really a happy camp.

So will the revolutionary winds spread? Will they cross the channel, uniting the proletariat of John Terry, Frank Lampard and Wayne Rooney to through off the shackles of their cruel, tyrannical despot Fabio Capello? Well, just like at the turn of the 19th Century, probably not. We English aren’t quite that volatile, and incredibly still hold qualification in their own hands. If he was trying to wrestle control away from the manager, John Terry’s attempted coup was more a ‘Bay of Pigs’ affair rather than a storming of the Winter Palace, but it’s clear too that just like with our French friends, all is not well in the England dressing room.

Look up the word pitiful in the Thesaurus and you get the range of words that adequately sum up both sides performances so far. France have been awful and stare elimination straight in the face. They haven’t even scored a goal yet. It’s hard to work out who’s been worse, given that on the one hand England have a) scored and b) can still qualify by winning their last game but on the other the French have clearly not been trying, whereas horrifically, England actually have.

If you want my thoughts on England, read the blog post I write after the USA game, and then multiply the negativity by about a thousand. I’m not going to say any more on the matter until after the game against Slovenia where we at least know where we stand a bit more. Even if we do win against Slovenia and qualify (which for the record, I think we will) there are still some rather worrying and fundamental problems to be addressed.

Kader Keita

I generally try to be someone who doesn’t get too worked up about ‘diving’ and ‘simulation’, given that there are many far worse things about modern football today, such as the still continuing amount of dangerous, potential leg breaking challenges we see. Indeed, in the Brazil vs. Ivory Coast game we saw Brazilian midfielder Elano sliced in half by a tackle that really should have been worthy of a red card. Instead the red went to Kaka for an absolutely nothing offence.

After a poor first season in Madrid, the Brazilian playmaker was starting to show the talent we all know that he has when he was the victim of playacting at it’s very worst (or best depending on your point of view). Kader Keita ran into the back of Kaka and then threw himself to the ground clutching his face as if he’d been lamped round the face with a sledgehammer. The situation wasn’t helped by the reaction of the Ivorian players, determined to see the Brazil No. 10 sent from the pitch. Luckily for him and his team, he will miss a group game largely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, but let’s just hope that players behaving as despicably as Keita is not the way forward.