End of term report - Leicester City

Today it’s the turn of esteemed friend of the blog, Mr. James Cowley to take you through all the highs of his clubs fantastic season...as well as the bits referring to Yann Kermorgant

1. If you could sum up your clubs season in one word, what would it be?

Anticlimax

2. Everyone knows exams are getting easier today (that’s a fact - I read it in the Daily Mail) but how would you grade your team’s performance in 2009/10? Please show your workings out (i.e. tell us why you’ve given them that grade!)

If: 1*(6th place) + 1*(West Country Idiot) + 1*(Knife Wielding Mercenary) – 2*(Missed Penalties) = £90m = TRUE
Then Grade as B -

If: 1*(6th place) + 1*(West Country Idiot) + 1*(Knife Wielding Mercenary) – 2*(Missed Penalties) = £90m = FALSE
Then Grade as A –

Comments: Some very good work throughout the test, however missed out on a higher grade due to a couple of errors on the bonus questions at the end. Last question not even attempted!

3. Happy with the teacher (gaffer)?

Couldn’t be happier with Pearson. He’s turned the fortune and mentality of the club around and two seasons. With a bit more luck he’d have achieved Mandaric’s original pledge of the return of Premiership footy within 3 years.

Some minor complaints about his lack of aggressive tactics on the terraces, but seemingly unwarranted as we finished only behind Newcastle, West Brom, Forest and Cardiff.

4. Who should go to the top of the class as your team’s star pupil(s)?

Tough choice but Jack Hobbs. Outstanding. If he was in the Premiership they’d be talking about him as well as / instead of Shawcross. Thank you Mr. Benitez you tool! What a trade in, a quality young English centre back for a Greek Jesus look-a-like! You fat goateed pleb!

5. And who should sit themselves in the corner as the school dunce(s)?

There wasn’t one.....until Yann “I think I’m Cantona, but really I’m more like Rene Artois” Kermorgant took the worst penalty ever taken on a major stage (apart from Diana Ross).

6. What are the moments this season that made you want to break out in a ‘Mourinhoesque’ charge across a pitch?

Beating the Forest Scum 3-0 to exact revenge upon them for our humiliation at the City Ground.

7. And what are the moments that made you want to grab a dumbbell and shout “die! die! die!”

That would be Kermofrog again!

8. If your club could make one acquisition this summer, who would it be?

Would like to see Darren Ambrose following his impressive performances this season. Could do with a game changer at times.

9. This is not all about you! There are 91 other football league teams out there, who are the best and worst players your clubs come up against?

Peter Whittingham seems to have cut the mustard this season, certainly in the 5 times we’ve had to play them! Quality left foot, loads of goals from midfield. Also Niall Ranger at Newcastle looked quite useful. Changed the game when we played at St. James’.

Worst player? Tough! I’d say half the Newcastle team. They’re poor from what I’ve seen. Without investment they’ll struggle next season, West Brom are the better team, just inconsistent. I’ll go for Carroll. Donkey gypsy thug!

Also, whilst we haven’t had to play Man United this year, I have seen a fair bit of them, and Berbatov is the laziest player in the Football League. Doesn’t apply the skill he has obviously got and takes a penalty like our man Kermofrog! Kermofrog and Berbadog! Don’t think the former is as bad as the latter though, he just won’t be allowed to take another penalty.

10. Finally, who were the best and worst opposition fans at your place this year?

Not been to too many games this year so can’t really comment. Probably Swansea for both. They started out full of song filling the ground with noise and when things were going their way they were “loving it” in a Kevin Keegan stylee. Tables were turned and they turned into a bunch of mutes.