Premiership Overrated XI

Are they really any good?

It’s that time of the season when awards are handed out, and “teams of the year” are selected.

So, in the words of Sky Sports, I’m going to “join in”; here is a quickly assembled Premiership Overrated XI, comprised of those players who seem to be regularly lauded yet aren’t all that good. Not everyone will necessarily agree.

GK: Mark Schwarzer

Ok, he’s had a great couple of years at Fulham, but is it only me who thinks this is more luck than judgment?! Schwarzer always looks surprised when the ball comes near him, and it tends to bounce off him rather than being saved. I know it’s harsh, but I wouldn’t want this guy in goal for my team.

RB: Micah Richards

Richards was a more obvious selection two years ago, when everyone thought he was the best defender around. To be fair, competing for the England right-back position with Gary Neville certainly helped… Big? Yes. Strong? Yes. Fast? Yes. Any sense of positioning, timing, composure, know-how, intelligence or general defensive ability… NO. NO. NO.

CB: Richard Dunne

This might not be a popular choice, but I genuinely think Dunne is overrated. Yes, he’ll look commanding for 85 minutes of a game, making telling blocks and tackles. Then he’ll give away a penalty, get sent off or score an own goal. Or sometimes even do all three.

CB: Michael Dawson

Dawson very much falls into the Richard Dunne category. Looks composed and solid for the majority of the game, then makes a horrendous error. He’s definitely improved over the last year, but I’m still not convinced. Plus, alongside Ledley King he always looks rubbish. And King has no knees and can’t train.

LB: Jlloyd Samuel

Not so much highly rated, but if you ask an average fan what they think of Samuel they will probably respond with something like “ok”, “not bad”, “decent pro”. I’m sorry, but that’s simply not true. Samuel is absolutely woeful. One of the worst players, in a quiet and unspectacular way, I’ve ever seen in any division. I can’t actually list a single attribute Samuel has. Any ideas….

RM (?): Joe Cole

To prove there’s no bias here, I’m including a Chelsea man. I like Joe Cole, and I really wish he was good. But he isn’t. For a start, he doesn’t have a position. He’s not a winger, not a striker and not a central midfielder. Yes, he can occasionally be creative and pull off a decent trick, but he drifts out of games regularly, can’t last 90 minutes, hardly ever scores and generally just doesn’t do very much.

CM: Tom Huddlestone

Give him lots of time and space, and Huddlestone can ping a majestic 50 yard pass. Put any sort of pressure on midfield and he crumbles. Huddlestone is obviously very good technically, but if he comes up against pace and energy he’s completely lost. He also looks fat. And is very, very slow. When Tottenham are beating Wigan 9-1 at home, Huddlestone looks good. That’s about the only time.

CM: Darren Fletcher

I’ve never liked Fletcher, and never will. I can fully admit that’s he a decent player, and a very useful squad man. But a place in the Premier League team of the year?? Whenever I watch Manchester United, all I see Fletcher do is foul people, whinge a lot, play some decent but unimaginative passes, run around, foul some more, shoot on target without power and then foul again. And for me, that does not make him a “world class” midfielder.

LM: Stuart Downing

Downing has one thing going for him – he’s left footed. That’s it. He’s not fast for a winger, nor does he possess any great skill or passing range. He’s simply a very average wide-man, certainly not worth £12m or a place in the England side.

ST: Roque Santa Cruz

Santa Cruz did have one very good season for Blackburn. But as far as I can see, that was his one and only good season since coming to Europe. Santa Cruz’s record at Bayern is average at the very best – he never got into double figures for goals in seven years. Plus he’s always injured. How Manchester City thought that warranted £17.5m I’m not quite sure.

ST: Emile Heskey

Admittedly Heskey isn’t broadly that rated, but the fact he’s given any sort of kudos as a centre forward is baffling. The man doesn’t score goals. It’s as basic as that. Critics always cite his teamwork and hold-up play as justification for this. I don’t think that cuts it. Strikers need to score goals – at least occasionally anyway. I’ve got nothing against Heskey personally, and I respect that he’s a “tryer”. But so are lots of other players – the type you see in the park on Sunday. And they don’t play for England.