Northern Wilderness - Swindon

Less North, more West, Swindon still very much qualifies as a ‘wilderness’ in football terms and one grizzled enthusiast recently visited the County Ground. Here is a report…

Travelling under the guise of a Leeds United follower, on a freezing cold Tuesday evening in late January, I boarded the 18.30 from Paddington with a mix of trepidation and boyish enthusiasm. Sure I’d heard Swindon wasn’t the most affable of football venues, but surely the Silicon Valley of the UK couldn’t be that bad, and I was quietly hopefully of a Leeds victory to boot.

The distinct possibility of train delays would be the first useful snippet I can share – despite a ticket price of £27.60 (single, no seat reservation), the First Great Western service failed to deliver a prompt arrival time, and I disembarked at Swindon station just 10 minutes before the 7.45pm kick off . No matter – onwards I vigorously went, only to be confronted by a bizarre scene that welcomed me to the M4 corridor in fine style. A local Swindon lout rushed past gleefully clutching a Leeds United scarf; 30 seconds later a bloodied Yorkshireman rounded the same corner, screaming obscenities. I had arrived at the County Ground.

The stadium was packed, and the atmosphere couldn’t be faulted. Sadly, the same analysis could not be applied to the facilities on offer. The away end consisted of a diagonal concrete slab (the stand), a weary burger van and what can only be described accurately as a ‘shed’ (the toilets). With the temperature plummeting below zero, Leeds aficionados were understandably grateful for a lack of precipitation, with the away end not generous enough to provide roofing. Sadly, that’s all there was to be thankful for, as Leeds’ worrying league form continued, Swindon going 1-0 up before halftime. Following a Bovril and rather chewy burger, I visited the gentlemen’s; an inch of liquid on the floor, rusting urinals and malfunctioning stopcocks greeted me. “This is worse than Southend,” one supporter remarked. “It’s even worse the f*@king Luton,” responded another.

If the surroundings were somewhat less than palatial, the game on pitch didn’t help improve the mood of the increasingly frustrated Leeds faithful either, with Swindon briskly wrapping up a 3-0 victory. With five minutes to go, and the result decided, I shivered in my row Q seat, fans eager for an early getaway streaming past. My verdict on a midweek away trip to Swindon – don’t get the train, don’t wear colours on your walk to the ground, eat beforehand, try to avoid the latrines and wrap up very, very warm. In fact if you can help it, don’t go at all.